


Love Born of Suffering

by The_Fiercest_Vulpine



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Crying, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashback, Fluff, Healing, Holding, M/M, PTSD, Trauma, lots of comfort, mentions of sexual abuse, possible trigger warning, rocking, they're adults now, too much comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 18:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15646266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fiercest_Vulpine/pseuds/The_Fiercest_Vulpine
Summary: This is in an AU that Slade sexually abused Robin during his apprenticeship.That isn't mentioned in detail but still trigger warning nonetheless, as the premise is about Robin having a flashback over it and being unable to function because of it.Super rot-your-teeth-out-of-your-head levels of fluff and hurt/comfort.It's kind of embarrassing really, actually don't read it lmao.But seriously, this is JayDick and they're 19/20 years old and Robin was 16 as an apprentice.Jason is Red X with no relation to Batman and is an Honorary Titan that lives in the tower.He's been with Robin for about a year by this point.And yes i can 100% see Jason being capable of comforting someone else, especially in TT.Horrible situations like these are something i use for the sake of being able to induce deep h/c, but i do not take sexual abuse or trauma lightly.I just have a broad focus on it, so hopefully this also is not offensive to anyone.Please, if nothing else, enjoy.~





	Love Born of Suffering

Post-battle with Punk Rocket, everyone returned to the tower successful, but injured to some extent.  
Being the born-doctor she was, Raven took up the liberty of healing her companions like she always did, and while they all talked about their battle, no one noticed when their leader sauntered away from the group.  
He was experiencing dissociation, but was so quiet about it no one knew.  
But soon after he left, and when Raven was ready to heal him, they all finally realized he was gone, and everyone had a bad feeling about it.  
Cyborg tracked his communicator to a nearby hallway; he hadn't gotten far.  
It was just him, Raven and Red X that went to get him, and upon finding him they had the misfortune of witnessing Robin break down steadily.  
Through coaxing and patience, they convinced him to let them take him to get treated and lie down.

\---

They took him to the medical bay and set him down gently on a bed.  
He was crying in agonized fear, but allowed his boyfriend to remove his shoes, socks, gloves, cape and mask.  
Raven had to use her magic to take his belt off, because there was absolutely no way he was going to allow anyone to touch his waist without protest.  
No one questioned that.  
But as soon as he could, Jason was on the bed, holding Dick in his arms, one hand behind his head and the other around his arms and body, holding him up and keeping him very close.  
He too was without his mask, gloves or cape, needing to be more present and flexible in this moment.  
Tears streamed down Dick's face as he tried to hold back whimpers and whines of pain and distress.  
He was co-conscious, half present and half stuck in that horrific memory of the second time Slade took him against his will, but he seemed more there than here.  
Jason was cradling his boyfriend so close and warmly, it would seem they were inseparable.  
It was all such a mess; that morning they were playing around and having a good time, goofing off and wrestling each other over the remote for their game station.  
Now, post-battle at nighttime, Dick was trying to be quiet and hold in as much of his agonies as possible for fear that someone who wasn't there would hurt his friends if he disobeyed.  
It was a lot for one person to bear, and Jason knew that.  
Raven could feel it, too.  
She, meanwhile, was healing his injuries from the battle.  
They were a few minutes into this now.  
Jason pointed out Dick's ride side, which was a tad bloodied.

"His side is..."

"I know," Raven said with a nod.  
"I'll get to that next."

Dick had been biting his lip in an effort to keep quiet, but Jason noticed he'd begun biting it hard enough to possibly hurt himself.  
He kindly reached a hand up and thumbed over his bottom lip, trying gingerly to encourage him to stop.

"Whoa, Dickie -- not so hard."

Eyes closed, Dick turned his head away irritably.

"Nh...  
N-no..."

"It's okay, it's me.  
Look at me, Richard...hm?"

His heart crumbled internally, falling apart in his chest.  
It was hard to watch someone he loved endure suffering on such a level, even if it was temporary.  
To see his strong, confident, sunshiny boyfriend in a shivering heap of tears and misery was gut-wrenching; he hated the powerlessness on his part.  
Raven could feel what Jason felt.  
She shared the ex-criminal's sentiment.  
Knowing what he was re-living, looking at him and getting to see real-time how he dealt with this torture was sobering.  
His whole body shook and occasionally convulsed, straining against what he felt, what he heard, what he remembered.  
Jason spoke softly.

"Open your eyes."

"Nnnnhhh hn..."

Jason wrapped his arm back around his body like it was before he made Dick stop biting his lip.  
His right side, which was exposed to Raven, was cut and was her next focus of healing.  
But finally, at least, he squinted his eyes open at Jason.

"Good, yeah...  
Who am i...?"

"J-ason," he hiccuped.

"Where are you?"

"Uuhn..."

He closed his eyes again, grimacing and tensing up as a wave of pain flooded over him.  
Jason could almost feel his misery, but did what he could to try and keep him grounded in the present.  
He lightly patted Dick's back.

"I'm here, I got you.  
Focus on me, focus on Jason."

Dick sounded almost broken when he spoke again.

"Jaayy..."

"Where are you?"

"J-Jay!  
Jay..."

Another small hiccup and a choked sob grumbled its way out of him.  
Briefly discouraged, and pained by the sound of his name shuddering on Dick's lips, Jason brought his head down, resting his face in his lover's cooling, sticky neck.  
Raven paused, sadly observing before finally moving on, knowing she couldn't do or say anything to make it better right then.  
God, if only he could murder that old rat bastard, slowly and painfully with one of his X-saws.  
He wanted to cut him apart piece by piece, taking his time to dismantle his whole oversized super-soldier body in sections.  
His mind slipped into those dark thoughts briefly, lighting a familiar spark of loathing he'd managed to suppress since the last time they'd talked about what Slade did.  
But after a few moments of silence, Jason was startled away from Dick's neck when he felt him jolt in his arms and cry out.

"JAY!"

"Shhhh...!!  
Shhh, baby i'm right here, it's okay."

And all at once, his anger was gone again.  
Spooked but protective, he rocked back and forth with Dick slowly in an attempt to keep him grounded and calm.  
Raven put a hand on Dick's arm and rubbed it, offering a helping solace of her own.  
It worked, for once the rocking started Dick looked back up at Jason, not resisting the soft swaying motion, even though he was on the verge of panicking.  
His chest heaved as he struggled to take in a hard breath.

"Euuhh!  
Jaaay!"

"Easy, easy..."

"D-on't g-o away...please...!"

"Shhhh, I'm not gonna go away.  
I'm right here, I'm holding you.  
I'm gonna keep holding you.  
It's all right..."

His tears ran over the sides of his face, dripping over his ear lobes and pattering beneath him.  
Some of his tears fell to Raven's legs, but she wasn't bothered.  
Neither of them could care less.  
The sorceress looked at Jason for permission to keep going, and he nodded to her.  
Dick's sore, ever-weeping eyes glanced around the room, occasionally spacing out while he cried to himself.  
He was hoarse sounding, groggy and out of it, as if he had been drugged.  
In hindsight, it was something of a mildly scary circumstance.

"M-mh...  
Mm..."

"You're all right, it's all over.  
You made it, you're at home and everyone's safe.  
You did it, Dick."

" It h-h-urts..."

"I know...  
But it's not real, it's not happening.  
You're at Titans Tower, at home with your friends."

"Huuurts...  
Hnggh God, stop...  
Please, stop!"

"Shhh, shh..."

The genuine ache in his begging nearly tore a hole through the others all together.

"Pleaaase stop!"

"It did stop, it's over.  
Can you hear me?"

A rather pitiful, but no less distraught little cry of pain cracked out of Dick's throat, and he started to pull his legs in more.  
Jason knew he could hear him.  
As it was, he just couldn't cure him.  
Raven cautiously gripped the bottom of Dick's shirt with the tips of her fingers, toggling the fabric with the delicateness of a spider's legs plucking over a web.  
She watched him closely while starting to pull the clothing up, exposing his side gradually until she could see the cut.  
It was small, but deep enough that it'd bled generously, staining his shirt and leaving a mess on his skin.  
The blood was semi-dried and sticky, having made the lifting of his shirt a little more unpleasant than Raven had anticipated.  
Trembling like a leaf in a storm, Dick blew air through his lips in a fashion similar to that of someone who was freezing.  
He did this several times beforr turning his head towards Raven, visibly displeased with his shirt being messed with.

"D-on't...  
Please...!"

"Richard?  
Hey."

Jason stopped rocking to allow Raven a better advantage.

"Nuuhhh!"

Raven looked up at him, speaking up.

"It's okay, I just want to heal you."

"Let her heal you, she's almost done."

Dick groaned and squirmed, turning his head inward towards Jason, wanting to bury his face in his neck, now.  
Jason didn't deny him, still holding him with a firm embrace.  
Hoarse whines slipped out as Raven took a cool, damp rag from beside her and used it to very lightly dab away some of the dried blood.

"I know this is hard for you, but you're doing so good, Dick.  
You're doing great, I mean it.  
I just need you to breathe, and focus on me."

"Hnnn-uh, huh, hnnn, hnnn....  
Hnnnn..."

"Breathe, breathe..."

"H-hhuUUHhh, uh..."

"It's gonna be okay, it's not gonna last."

He exhaled hard a few times while Raven finally pressed her palm to his injury, her soft blue energy whirring up in a pale light.  
As it was, Dick was relatively unbothered by the sensation, almost appearing to have forgotten about it.  
Some of that could have been Raven's influence.  
He muttered something incomprehensible.

"Dnnhhntt..."

Jason looked down at him attentively.

"Hm? What did you say?"

Dick was shaken and barely audible, but both Jason and Raven understood, though Raven pretended not to notice.

"I d-id-dn't w-want it...  
I d-idn't..."

"Ohhh, Dickie, baby I know...  
It's okay, shhhh..."

Dick curled his legs in even tighter than they were before, almost pretzeling them in a pointless effort to cover himself.  
He felt deeply exposed, even though he knew he had clothes on.  
In his co-conscious state and out of sudden anxiety, the Boy Wonder brought a hand down to his lower abdomen, groaning while trying to push his shirt back down with unsteady fingers.  
But Jason was wise, and calmly reached his own hand down and gently took Dick's, pulling it back up to keep him from disturbing Raven's work.

"Huhggh!  
Uahhh..."

"It's okay, I know."

Though Raven could still easily hear him, in an attempt to spare Dick some embarrassment Jason leaned in close, bringing his lips to his partner's ear to whisper very lowly while still holding his hand.

"You're not naked.  
Okay?  
We can't see you, you're okay."

"It f-eels like i-t's...like I'm n-ot..."

Jason very carefully folded Dick's arm back in and brought his hand back up to their chests, then lovingly wrapped his arm back around Dick's body, holding him in place comfortably.

"I know it does, I know it, Dick.  
But you can trust me, you're not naked.  
Do you understand?"

Scrunching his face in a sudden pang of emotion, Dick closed his eyes and nodded weakly.  
Jason brought his head back up to look at him.

"Good...  
Good..."

At long last, Raven finished healing the injury, and once more used the cloth to wipe away any remaining blood before cleaning her hands off with it, and then pulled his shirt back down.  
Seeing him squirm and feeling his very soul ache for a little more coverage, she levitated Jason's discarded cape over and took it in hand, draping it over Dick's legs and starting to wedge it under Jason's arm.  
Catching on, he lifted his arm and helped Raven pull the cape up and under Dick's arms, blanketing him.  
She tucked the fabric in around his legs just enough to create a feeling of security, and it was then that they both feel him relax just the slightest bit.  
His legs remained pulled in tight and squeezed together.

"Thanks, Rae."

"No problem..."

Jason attempted to gently wipe away some of Dick's tears with his thumb, but more simply took their place.  
Not yet keen on leaving, Raven stayed right where she was, tenderly rubbing one of his shins through the cape in the hopes of helping ease her friend more.  
It was bewildering to them both, how small and fragile he seemed this way.  
Curled up, shivering and whimpering, hurting mentally and even a little physically -- and not from the battlefield.  
She didn't say it, but through touching him Raven could feel exactly where he hurt and why he was shaking so badly, and it made her feel a little nauseated.  
But as a skilled empath, she pushed it down and filtered it out of herself, possibly filtering it right out of Dick's body, too.

For a couple minutes they sat like this with Raven watching the boys cuddle as Jason tried to repair his boyfriend.  
Holding him like his life depended on it, as if Dick would die if he let him go.  
Once in a while peppering the side of his head and his eyelids with kisses, earning scared but trusting glances from him.  
His fingertips pushed back and forth against Dick's soft, black hair, which was now a little damp from having been sweating.  
Jason didn't care.  
Pale green eyes studied him with concern and passion between closing, and he started rocking again very slowly.  
He just wanted to take all that pain away, free him from his past, but for now all he could do was try to comfort him until he came out of it.

"Hn-n-n-nnnh...  
Nn..."

"...Dick...  
You wanna lay down?"

"Uhhggn..."

"Dickie."

"Hhuh...?"

He blinked his eyes open at Jason again.

"Can I lay you down?  
I'll still hold you."

"Mh..."

"Let's lay down, I'll hold you."

Raven moved away when Jason moved, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
With the coolness of a cat and the care of a mother, Jason scooped Dick up, hooking his arm under his legs and laying him down on his right side very slowly.  
Dick groaned the whole way down, and when his wet face came into contact with the cool, plush bed, he got a little louder.

"Shhh, relax, it’s still okay."

Once he had him laid down, he spent a moment patting and rubbing Dick’s back in slow, tender motions.  
He hoped it would ease him in and better familiarize him with the sensation of being laid down.

"D-on’t l-ea-ve..."

"I’m not going anywhere, I promise."

Only when he felt his partner relax slightly did Jason pull the cape off and up, then back over Dick and tucked it around his body like a small blanket, easing him until he sighed instead of groaned.  
He still shuddered, and at the presence of another whimper Jason put a hand on his back again and began to rub it all the way up to his shoulders and back down, wanting to massage the fear right out of him.  
Dick laid curled up, legs still folded in and arms folded nearly under him.  
Raven spoke up quietly, not wanting to disturb them.

"Do you need anything from me?  
Because if not, I can give you some space."

Jason scooted over towards Dick, turning and getting ready to lay down behind him.  
He took the small pillow above Dick's head and pulled it down, carefully wedging it between his neck and his shoulder to keep him laying straight.

"Uhhh no, no I'm okay.  
Hey, thanks though.  
You really helped a lot."

She smiled softly.

"It's no trouble.  
Just let me know if you need help."

Knowing they'd be okay, Raven stood and walked out of the room and through the door to the medical bay.  
Silenced by the door being closed and keeping her tone soft, she called the others on her communicator and let them know everything was being taken care of.  
Inside, not much was changing, minus a sense of ease beginning to settle over the boys.

"Nnnnhhhh..."

Still rubbing his back and sitting up at a tilt, Jason was ever-quiet and soft of tone.

"What are you feeling right now...?"

Dick only trembled, not answering.

"Are you still flashing back?"

Dick nodded, taking in a breath so clattered it sounded like his lungs were rattling.

"Okay..."

And finally, after pulling a thin blanket from the bed up over Dick and his cape, Jason slid his body down behind Dick's and propped himself with a pillow to keep his head just elevated above his boyfriend's, wanting to be able to keep a better eye on him.  
Dick shuddered at first when the arm laid over him, but quickly relaxed into the sensation.  
His legs extended out a slight more, too.  
Knowing he'd feel more secure this way, Jason brought his leg over Dick's legs, drawing himself in closer and forming a stronger bonding experience.  
He knew how much he loved physical contact, especially in times like these.  
He was over Dick enough that he could speak to him gently still, and upon glancing he noticed that his tears had slowed down considerably.  
Still his body trembled, and he sighed shakily between sniffles and small sounds.

"How does this feel?"

"I th-ink it's good...  
M-m sorry..."

"Stop.  
Don't say you're sorry.  
You don't owe me an apology."

Deeply ashamed and suddenly feeling a tad less fuzzy, the Titan leader turned his face inward towards the flat pillow his head was resting on, squeezing his eyes shut tight.  
Jason noticed and brought a hand up to Dick's shoulder, now rubbing over it and allowing his thumb to occasionally brush his pinkened, wet cheek.

"I'm n-ot as bad..."

"You mean, you think you're getting better?"

"Y-eah...  
I s-still feel bad, b-ut...ev-verything before right n-ow is a blur..."

Just from the way his speech was improving and how less groggy he sounded, Jason knew this flashback was just about over.  
It was a relief to know they were in the home stretch, but that by no means suggested that this fight was ending here.  
Now they had the entire rest of the night to get through, and hopefully this could be done without any interruptions.  
And through all of it, Dick would probably not be in great shape, though sleep would easily help him in the end.  
So for now, Jason catered to him in the present.  
Dick allowed him to, trembling less and less until there were just mere tremors, and the tears stopped as the horrid memories and sensations of being violated subsided.  
He reached a weak hand up through the blanket to wipe his eyes, then sighed heavily and relaxed again.  
Jason could feel Dick's legs still tense beneath him, but that didn't come as a shock of any sort.

"I d-on't know what to do..."

"What do you mean...?"

At this point, Dick could barely hold his eyes open.

"I'm so t-ired, but I don't think I should sleep...."

"You can sleep.  
You really need to, it's time."

"Wh-at about sh-ower, and--"

"Baby, listen..."

He leaned over Dick a little more, soft lips nearly touching his jawbone.

"You need to sleep, first and foremost.  
And if you wake up, I'll get up, too.  
We can eat, shower, and do whatever you need to do...  
Okay...?  
But right now, I really want you to sleep."

Moments after saying his piece, to his relief, he felt Dick's body begin to go more limp, so much so that even his legs finally relaxed.  
Jason ran his hand up and down Dick's arm methodically, all while planting a kiss on his tired lover's jaw.  
Raven returned and got his attention, motioning that she was leaving, to which Jason nodded.  
The last he heard of her was the doors opening and closing.  
In this moment, as much as he'd have liked to clean up and go to his room, Dick could hardly think about anything other than how damn good it felt to be laying down.  
Wrapped up, being held and cuddled by his partner, feeling his bare feet beneath the thin blanket was all just too nice.  
Pure bliss, a major relief.  
He couldn't bear to try and leave now, he had to stay and rest.  
Best of all, Jason was doing everything in his power to make him comfortable.  
As much shame as he carried over something he had no need to be ashamed of, he took a mental note of how he intended to make all of this up to Jason.  
Though of course, Jason didn't need any sort of compensation.  
He loved doing this, because he loved Dick Grayson.  
He wanted to do this, he wanted to help him.  
Jason understood what his mind was doing, and he'd give him all the love in his heart to guide him through it if he had to.

"...Ok-ay..."

"Thank you."

One more soft kiss on his jawbone, and Jason eased himself back into place.  
He closed his eyes, but only to rest them while continuing to rub Dick's arm.  
There was about half a minute of silence before the sound of Dick's voice grabbed his attention again.

"Jason, I..."

"Hm?"

"...I wanna turn over."

For the first time in about an hour, Jason finally smiled.

"Let's do it."

Careful to keep himself under both the long cape and the blanket, Dick stiffly began to turn himself.  
When he got to his back he paused, sighing and seeming to take a moment just to gather his strength.  
It was then that Jason could see how awful he looked, how ragged out he was from all the commotion.  
A big fight with Punk Rocket was one thing, but it was the memory and the pain of enduring it that's brought him into this state.  
Thank God it was bedtime, because if Jason knew Dick, he knew he would be feeling horribly guilty about wanting to sleep during the day.  
He waited for him patiently, propped on his elbow, laying the same hand he'd been using onto Dick's chest.

"You all right?"

"Yeah, just...so terrible feeling...  
I -- I feel like I just got out of the twilight zone or something...  
Or, like I ate a handful of Benadryl..."

Jason nodded with genuine understanding, half-smiling at the humorous comment.  
It was still sad, but he also knew this was Dick's very faint attempt at bringing an ounce of light to the darkness that had fogged up his head.

"Yeah, I hear ya.  
It's not gonna last, though, you'll feel better."

He patted his chest lovingly.

"You're almost there, come on."

"Ngghh..."

With a small, strained groan, Dick turned himself over onto his left side, facing Jason before collapsing back down.  
His entire body felt like a lead brick, even though it shook like a leaf the entire time he was moving.  
He curled in his arms and tucked his head down, snuggling in while the other male rested his arm over him once more.  
This time though, he had to keep his legs straight, but that only gave Jason more of an opportunity to lay his own leg over them again.  
Dick took comfort in that, feeling even more safe the more his body was covered and touched by him.  
This was love, and it was stronger than his pain, no matter how strong his pain may have been.  
It was fresh in his mind, what he just went through, but he forced his eyes open to look up at Jason.  
"Focus on me, focus on Jason."  
So, he did.  
Pale green eyes returned the gaze, still smiling a little, if not a bit tiredly.

"How's this?"

"Perfect.....  
Don't let go..."

"I'm not gonna let go, I'm gonna stay like this all night with you."

"I really am..sorry..."

"I know you are, but it's pointless."

Blunt as Jason could be, Dick could feel the nurturing intent behind it, and never took offense.

"Like i said, you don't owe me anything.  
This is normal, it means you're getting better.  
I know it doesn't feel like it, but...you know.  
I know you know."

"Hh, yeah..."

His eyelids began to flutter, and he hates it because he knew Jason was going to prey on that in an effort to help him sleep faster.  
With all that'd gone on, he was a little scared to sleep and possibly face nightmares.  
He strained to keep his walnut-brown eyes open and staring at Jason, but good old Red X knew his tricks and his infamy for fighting sleep.

"Hhhh..."

If it weren't for him knowing Dick was fighting sleep out of worry, he'd have smiled at how cute he looked trying not to pass out.  
His soft hand and elongated fingers skated softly across his shoulder, much more slow and lighter than before.

"Why don't you close your eyes."

"................"

More drooping, but still not closed.

"Do you want me to turn the light off...?"

At that suggestion, Dick's eyes came open again in startled concern.

"No!  
Eh -- no...please..."

"Shhh okay, it's okay.  
We can keep em on, you're fine."

Dick had never been afraid of the dark, but he knew how sensitive his mind was right then, and after what happened with him being drugged a couple years ago, he wouldn't take chances post-flashback.  
Jason knew about it, and completely respected and understood that.  
And as if his voice couldn't get any softer, it did.

"Sleep, Richard."

Dick tried to offer a rebuttal, but his eyelids started falling badly again until they were barely open.  
They looked so sore it even made Jason hurt a little, but he knew Dick couldn't last much longer.

"Don't fight it...  
Don't fight anymore, just relax.  
Let yourself heal, I've got you.  
You're with your friends, and your family, and you're at home.  
And you're with me.  
You've taken care of everyone, you've kept everyone safe, made everyone happy.  
You're a good leader.  
But it's your turn, now."

As his eyes finally closed, Jason slid his hand up and thumbed over Dick's right eyelid very tenderly, feeling plush, mid-length lashes tickle his digit.  
Dick didn't so much as flinch when he felt it, already nearly to the point of slipping out of consciousness.  
Jason rested his hand around Dick's back, stroking it through the fabric a few more times limply with his fingers before stopping all together.  
A minute more and Dick drifted off, face buried in Jason's neck while he released soft, small breaths, leaving the redhead finally feeling safe enough to close his own eyes and go to sleep, too.


End file.
